Those who know me too well know that I have a strange obsession with the concept of a bionic eye. While I'm still waiting for scientists to make their big announcement, my hometown U came up with a nice temporary solution.
I've never wanted something so badly that has such little use to me.
10.31.2008
10.26.2008
9.08.2008
people in politics
As we all know, People magazine is an American institution, making the lives of the middle class more interesting with stories of much-richer people and pictures of them walking their dogs.
However, in the wake of the collapsing economy and the ongoing war in the Middle East, People has started shifting it's focus away from the world of the frivolous and into the realm of thought-provoking political journalism. As an avid People reader, I've noticed this trend, and have decided to document it on my blog.
Welcome to my new segment: People in Politics.
First up: a hard-hitting examination of Sarah Palin's record. This mother of five and governor of Alaska has made her name for herself as a maverick in the Republican party, eliminating pork-barrel spending and wiping out corruption among her ranks. However, at 44, she is one of the youngest VP-candidates ever and has been governor of Alaska for a scant 2 years -- less time than Barack Obama has been running for president of the United States. Is she really qualified to be the second-in-command of the free world? People asks the tough questions.
However, in the wake of the collapsing economy and the ongoing war in the Middle East, People has started shifting it's focus away from the world of the frivolous and into the realm of thought-provoking political journalism. As an avid People reader, I've noticed this trend, and have decided to document it on my blog.
Welcome to my new segment: People in Politics.
First up: a hard-hitting examination of Sarah Palin's record. This mother of five and governor of Alaska has made her name for herself as a maverick in the Republican party, eliminating pork-barrel spending and wiping out corruption among her ranks. However, at 44, she is one of the youngest VP-candidates ever and has been governor of Alaska for a scant 2 years -- less time than Barack Obama has been running for president of the United States. Is she really qualified to be the second-in-command of the free world? People asks the tough questions.
9.01.2008
cotton dreams
I slept with a blankie until I was 18.
This isn't something I'm especially proud of. In fact, I spent most of middle school and high school ashamed of this fact, and spent a lot of time and energy figuring out how to best hide this from my friends. I was pretty sure I'd be a laughingstock when everyone found out their senior class president still slept with a security blanket -- the same one he'd had since birth.
Actually, it wasn't quite the same one. The first one, lovingly sewn for me by my grandma, was left at an airport after some trip when I was 3 or 4 or 5 or some age like that. I cried for days, until my grandma sent down another one, hurriedly sewn in the interim. That temp-blanket slept with me every single night of my life until I left for college. I took it to camp, I hid it in sleeping bags when I spent the night at friends -- I couldn't sleep without it.
I loved it, my blankie. I loved the way it smelled, I loved the way it felt, I loved playing with the frays and numerous holes that formed in the 15-or-so years I owned it. Every night I would carefully place it between my knees, and blankie would do his job, making sure those knees never touched when I curled up in the fetal position to sleep.
Then, when I left for college, I decided I didn't need blankie anymore. I decided the comfort I felt every night holding blankie in my arms wasn't worth the shame I'd feel every day, having to hide him from roommates, hook-ups, friends, and girlfriends. And I didn't regret that decision. In fact, I didn't give blankie a second thought.
Until tonight, that is. For whatever reason, when I pulled the covers up and closed my eyes, the first thought that ran through my head was: I wish I had my blankie back. I don't really know what that means, but I considered it significant enough to roll back out of bed and brush the digital dust off this sporadically-used blog.
I guess we all have to come to terms with becoming and adult at some point. With growing up, with change. With new stress and new circumstances. I know I don't need my blankie anymore, and now I have something else (someone else, really) I get to sleep with that provides security in a way blankie never could, but it's interesting how when life gets overwhelming, we revert back to the things that first gave us comfort.
And with that little diatribe, I'm going to sleep. Sans-blankie.
This isn't something I'm especially proud of. In fact, I spent most of middle school and high school ashamed of this fact, and spent a lot of time and energy figuring out how to best hide this from my friends. I was pretty sure I'd be a laughingstock when everyone found out their senior class president still slept with a security blanket -- the same one he'd had since birth.
Actually, it wasn't quite the same one. The first one, lovingly sewn for me by my grandma, was left at an airport after some trip when I was 3 or 4 or 5 or some age like that. I cried for days, until my grandma sent down another one, hurriedly sewn in the interim. That temp-blanket slept with me every single night of my life until I left for college. I took it to camp, I hid it in sleeping bags when I spent the night at friends -- I couldn't sleep without it.
I loved it, my blankie. I loved the way it smelled, I loved the way it felt, I loved playing with the frays and numerous holes that formed in the 15-or-so years I owned it. Every night I would carefully place it between my knees, and blankie would do his job, making sure those knees never touched when I curled up in the fetal position to sleep.
Then, when I left for college, I decided I didn't need blankie anymore. I decided the comfort I felt every night holding blankie in my arms wasn't worth the shame I'd feel every day, having to hide him from roommates, hook-ups, friends, and girlfriends. And I didn't regret that decision. In fact, I didn't give blankie a second thought.
Until tonight, that is. For whatever reason, when I pulled the covers up and closed my eyes, the first thought that ran through my head was: I wish I had my blankie back. I don't really know what that means, but I considered it significant enough to roll back out of bed and brush the digital dust off this sporadically-used blog.
I guess we all have to come to terms with becoming and adult at some point. With growing up, with change. With new stress and new circumstances. I know I don't need my blankie anymore, and now I have something else (someone else, really) I get to sleep with that provides security in a way blankie never could, but it's interesting how when life gets overwhelming, we revert back to the things that first gave us comfort.
And with that little diatribe, I'm going to sleep. Sans-blankie.
7.02.2008
still alive
I've been a bad blogger. I start to make good on my promise to write more and then completely shut down, letting the site go dark for over a month.
It's funny, though, because the reason I started this blog in the first place was to get me writing. Writing anything, really, although I did my best to be entertaining. However, since school's been out, I've been doing a pretty damn good job of writing things that are actually productive. And while I'd love to report that I've finished those projects and can move on, we all know that's not the case.
I am, however, about 3/4 of the way through the first draft one of one them, which is a big deal for a guy who's never really finished anything in his life. So fear not, one or two readers of this blog, for a lack of posting means I'm actually getting real work accomplished, and that's something I can feel pretty good about.
In other news, I dropped my phone in the toilet on Sunday and some woman totally hit me with her car today. All in all, not a good week for me, technology-wise.
Happy Day-We-Told-The-British-To-Fuck-Off Day, everyone.
It's funny, though, because the reason I started this blog in the first place was to get me writing. Writing anything, really, although I did my best to be entertaining. However, since school's been out, I've been doing a pretty damn good job of writing things that are actually productive. And while I'd love to report that I've finished those projects and can move on, we all know that's not the case.
I am, however, about 3/4 of the way through the first draft one of one them, which is a big deal for a guy who's never really finished anything in his life. So fear not, one or two readers of this blog, for a lack of posting means I'm actually getting real work accomplished, and that's something I can feel pretty good about.
In other news, I dropped my phone in the toilet on Sunday and some woman totally hit me with her car today. All in all, not a good week for me, technology-wise.
Happy Day-We-Told-The-British-To-Fuck-Off Day, everyone.
5.19.2008
thieves!
Los Angeles-based band Lustra recently claimed that Miley Cyrus stole one of their songs. You've probably never heard of Lustra, but they wrote the wildly-successful and popular song "Scotty Doesn't Know", featured in the movie Eurotrip. The Cyrus song? "Rockstar".
You can judge for yourself, but if you ask me, I think that Lustra has a pretty good oh come on who gives a fuck no one is ever going to listen to either of these songs again anyway.
You can judge for yourself, but if you ask me, I think that Lustra has a pretty good oh come on who gives a fuck no one is ever going to listen to either of these songs again anyway.
5.07.2008
lowfermation
A couple weeks ago I read an article in Time that reaffirmed something I have long believed: most people are morons.
One of the assertions in this article is that most people vote on the basis of "low-information signals", which are "stupid things like whether you know how to roll a bowling ball or wear an American-flag pin". The article goes on to claim that what initially set the Democrats apart was their reluctance to participate in this type of politics. It also asserts that this reluctance is what is probably causing them to lose so often.
Meaning: our country has been brought to the verge of collapse because John Kerry looked like a doofus trying to catch a football.
I assumed this type of low-information signaling as the basis of decision-making existed only in the political realm, but I just read something else that leads me to believe that people are morons basically all the time, as opposed to just when they're voting.
For those who care about celebrities, Uma Thurman's stalker was just declared guilty of fourth-degree stalking and second-degree aggravated harassment. (Sidebar: fourth-degree stalking? Can someone explain to me the differences in the degrees of stalking?) On People.com, there is an article interviewing a juror who talks about how the jury came to a decision.
"'At one point, leaving the stand, she seemed to hide her head in the crook of her arm,' Steel also says of Thurman - though, she goes on to report, the jurors questioned just how frightened Thurman might really have been."
Excuse me? She might have hid her head in the crook of her arm? Meaning that she was afraid? Are these people retarded? I have no idea whether or not this guy should have been convicted of stalking, but using a potentially accidental gesture committed by an actress as evidence is the type of thing that makes me terrified of our legal system. I wouldn't trust a group of twelve random people to watch my stuff while I take a piss, let alone decide how much time someone should spend in jail.
One of the assertions in this article is that most people vote on the basis of "low-information signals", which are "stupid things like whether you know how to roll a bowling ball or wear an American-flag pin". The article goes on to claim that what initially set the Democrats apart was their reluctance to participate in this type of politics. It also asserts that this reluctance is what is probably causing them to lose so often.
Meaning: our country has been brought to the verge of collapse because John Kerry looked like a doofus trying to catch a football.
I assumed this type of low-information signaling as the basis of decision-making existed only in the political realm, but I just read something else that leads me to believe that people are morons basically all the time, as opposed to just when they're voting.
For those who care about celebrities, Uma Thurman's stalker was just declared guilty of fourth-degree stalking and second-degree aggravated harassment. (Sidebar: fourth-degree stalking? Can someone explain to me the differences in the degrees of stalking?) On People.com, there is an article interviewing a juror who talks about how the jury came to a decision.
"'At one point, leaving the stand, she seemed to hide her head in the crook of her arm,' Steel also says of Thurman - though, she goes on to report, the jurors questioned just how frightened Thurman might really have been."
Excuse me? She might have hid her head in the crook of her arm? Meaning that she was afraid? Are these people retarded? I have no idea whether or not this guy should have been convicted of stalking, but using a potentially accidental gesture committed by an actress as evidence is the type of thing that makes me terrified of our legal system. I wouldn't trust a group of twelve random people to watch my stuff while I take a piss, let alone decide how much time someone should spend in jail.
4.30.2008
oh, and
I would also like to thank everyone I know for all the wonderful birthday wishes and free drinks. I am truly grateful for you all, and you will never know how much you truly mean to me.
the best thing in the world
I've posted this before in my cleverly-titled "things" section of this blog, but I would like to reiterate the awesome nature of "Stuff White People Like".
Never has a written publication been simultaneously so true to my heart and so embarrassing. It's like the writers have personally interviewed me and everyone I know, and come up with a fairly comprehensive list of all the stupid shit we find fascinating for no reason at all.
I check it every day.
Never has a written publication been simultaneously so true to my heart and so embarrassing. It's like the writers have personally interviewed me and everyone I know, and come up with a fairly comprehensive list of all the stupid shit we find fascinating for no reason at all.
I check it every day.
4.23.2008
breakin' the law
The corner of 1st and Berendo is a right-turn only. There's a big sign right next to the stop sign, and a big arrow painted on the street.
Unfortunately, I need to turn left on 1st to go to school every day. So for the past year-and-a-bit, I've simply ignored the sign and gone on my merry way. I could never figure out why it was right-turn only to begin with.
Today, all that time I saved finally caught up with me. I got pulled over. The cop walks up: license, registration, and insurance.
"You a California resident or a student?"
"Student"
"What's your address here"
"[My address]"
"Ah, local. You should know about that turn then"
"Yeah, I know"
He writes my ticket, comes back to my window.
"You really should pay attention to that sign. Giving tickets for that is really easy"
"I imagine. Why is it a right-turn only, anyway?"
"I dunno. Doesn't make any sense to me"
He hands me my ticket, then says:
"So you have to appear in court on June 9th. You can get that date extended, though, if you want to. I go on vacation in July, so you might want to extend it until then"
"... What?"
"You didn't hear that from me. Have a great day"
And he's gone.
Unfortunately, I need to turn left on 1st to go to school every day. So for the past year-and-a-bit, I've simply ignored the sign and gone on my merry way. I could never figure out why it was right-turn only to begin with.
Today, all that time I saved finally caught up with me. I got pulled over. The cop walks up: license, registration, and insurance.
"You a California resident or a student?"
"Student"
"What's your address here"
"[My address]"
"Ah, local. You should know about that turn then"
"Yeah, I know"
He writes my ticket, comes back to my window.
"You really should pay attention to that sign. Giving tickets for that is really easy"
"I imagine. Why is it a right-turn only, anyway?"
"I dunno. Doesn't make any sense to me"
He hands me my ticket, then says:
"So you have to appear in court on June 9th. You can get that date extended, though, if you want to. I go on vacation in July, so you might want to extend it until then"
"... What?"
"You didn't hear that from me. Have a great day"
And he's gone.
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