the hurwitz

new site!

2009-05-27T21:53:00.000-07:00

Great news, everyone!

www.maxhurwitz.com is live! And it has a blog! So from now on I'm going to be blogging over there. I'm not going to delete this one, and I'm not going to migrate it unless someone can teach me how.

The internet is hard, and I had a difficult enough time setting up the damn website.

I think this is a thinly veiled way to ask for help.

Go to the site! I'll see you there!

not helping

2009-03-29T17:58:00.000-07:00

From Variety:

Honorary degree-holder Spielberg poked fun at the fact that he was famously rejected by USC three times: "As you know, I have tried to have some association with this school, but eventually I had to buy my way in."
To which Lucas replied, "I've got news for you, Steven. We've all had to buy our way in."

*sigh...*

pass the tissues

2009-03-23T20:45:00.000-07:00

For the rest of my life, I will tear up every time Wall-E tries to hold Eve's hand.

God bless you, Pixar.

we are all going to die

2009-03-22T14:53:00.000-07:00

This post is going to make me sound like an either an old curmudgeon or a hypocrite. If I do it right, maybe I can get both.

While I am generally in full support of the latest advances in communication and technology, this Twitter thing is beginning to drive me batshit.

Twitter has existed for a couple years now, I believe, but what was once a laughable idea is turning in to a cultural phenomenon. Friends and acquaintances have been bringing it up in conversation. And this video is a) hilarious and b) making me think that more people Twitter than I realized.

What's my beef with Twitter, you ask? In a nutshell, I think it represents a cultural shift that is ultimately leading to the destruction of humanity.

Yeah, I'm serious. Why? Because nobody's thinking about anything anymore. A world where it's perfectly acceptable to tell everyone the status of your tooth brushing is a world where no one is really thinking about anything they say or do. And because culture is constantly building upon itself, this mindset isn't going to stay in the Twitter-sphere. If we don't make an effort to stop this now, the Twitter-brain-disease is going to spread like flesh eating bacteria, eventually killing us all with it's obsequious, mind-numbing stupidity.

How is it different than a blog (like this one, for example)? Well, in essence it's not. I still use thehurwitz to broadcast my thoughts to no one in particular. But the difference is in the form and content. I'm not updating anyone on every second of my generally mundane existence. I'm primarily just complaining about things. And although that's not ultimately any more productive, at least I'm putting some thought in to it. I'm forming complete sentences. I'm using words like "obsequious".

So please, people, think about this before you Twitter. For the good of everyone.

UPDATE: After writing this post, I realized I had never actually seen the Twitter website. I figured they might have some explanation as to why Twitter might exist, and why it might not represent the downfall of humanity after all. I was wrong.

it's a drinking solution

2009-03-21T11:12:00.000-07:00

The past week has been my last spring break. Ever. I didn't really go anywhere, and didn't really mind, but I have been enthusiastically participating in one stereotypical spring break activity: drinking.

I'm not a big drinker. My body isn't able to handle much alcohol before my stomach hits the "emergency eject" button.

But this week, I've been going out a lot. And I'll have a beer, or two, or a shot of vodka, or what have you. Not much, but more than none.

And I've made a fascinating discovery. When I get home, I'm actually more productive. For whatever reason, that one drink that's still in my system takes the edge of my laziness. I do dishes. I do laundry. Hell, I'm even writing more.

My theory is that the one drink provides a way to shut my stupid brain up one tiny little bit, so I can stop worrying so much about my perfectionism and actually get something accomplished.

Go figure. And to think they call it a drinking problem.

morons are making me question my core beliefs

2009-03-20T23:02:00.001-07:00

Sweden's income tax is over 50%. They have free healthcare, free public transportation, free education (including college), and they probably give away free puppies at orphanages (which are also completely supported by the government). For all intents and purposes, Sweden is a socialist country.

I share this because my mom is half Swedish, and until mid-2008, full-Canadian. I was raised to be as liberal as is socially acceptable in this country. For my high school graduation, my mom gave me a ring that has "Question Authority" engraved on the inside. To me, socialism has always made a lot of sense -- I see it as espousing values of generosity and kindness toward those less fortunate than ourselves. I have always believed that government exists to help people above all, and provide as many services to the public as possible. Healthcare for everyone. Public transportation. Welfare, social services, you name it. I like my government big and taxtastic.

However, in the light of the out-of-countrol financial crisis, the American government is making me wonder whether or not big government can ever work in this country. The AIG bonus scandal in particular is leading to believe it's a lost cause -- but not for the reasons you'd think. An article from the New York Times does a pretty good job of explaining what I'm worried about, but since reading a lot of hard, I'll summarize:

The government's knee-jerk reaction to AIG is making things worse. One truism that seems oft-neglected is the fact that if the government is going to be running a lot of things, there need to be smart people in the government. And apparently there are none. In Congress, at least.

I'll start by saying the bonuses look bad. Clearly. Taxpayers are aware that their money is being funnelled in to the company (although I imagine the average household contribution isn't worth getting upset about), and they don't want that money going straight to the fuck-up executives that largely created this problem in the first place.

But it's important to consider that the bailout money bequeathed to AIG isn't a gift -- Edward Liddy, AIG's new chief, has said he intends for the company to be able to repay it. If the insurer has any hope of doing that, Congress needs to stop fucking with their shit. AIG has been raked over the coals so much by this thing that no one wants any part of it anymore -- and their ability to recover and repay the government grows slimmer with every stupid and ultimately pointless "How many of you took a corporate jet here?" question.

Congress needs to stop stooping to this populist mob-mentality, and start solving problems. They should not hold a hearing to yell at Liddy for things that were largely beyond his control. They should find out why the bonuses happened and then stop them. Done. I don't need to watch every congressman raise their hand and tell me how outraged they are. You cannot fix this problem by disapproving. The economy is collapsing. Do something about it.

Can we elect Barack Obama king? He seems like a pretty smart guy. Maybe that'll work.

the price of freedom

2009-03-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

I've always had a problem with free time. My goldfish memory and general laziness often causes me to spend large chunks of time clicking around the internet, reading celebrity news and random wikipedia articles until I come to two hours later, wondering what the fuck I've been doing. It's kind of like an automatic StumbleUpon, except I'm terrified to download the actual toolbar because I know I'll never get anything done.

I still grapple with this issue on a daily basis, but one tactic I've devised is a To Do list made by a company called Cultured Code. They have an iPhone version too, which syncs to the Mac version (though not well), and it provides a remarkably satisfying "checking off" graphic whenever I complete a task. I've conditioned myself to look at the program every time I find myself without something specific to do, so I don't get lost roaming the internet.

Downloading (and paying for) this little program has probably created an aggregate 30 hours of productivity since the beginning of the semester, but I've noticed the effect is beginning to fade, especially when damn-near 100% of my time is unstructured, a la spring break.

This is bad. Very bad. I need to find some motivation, because if I have my way, career-wise, pretty much every day is going to be nothing but unstructured time. It's gotten to the point where I consider writing this blog entry to be a productive use of my time.

Resolved: every time I find myself not working when I'm supposed to be working, for whatever reason, I'm going to try a new strategy to cope. It might be going in the other room, it might be leaving my apartment, it might be drinking tea, it might be standing on my head for thirty seconds, whatever. Do something else. This is my pledge to you, the-one-person-who-still-reads-this-blog. Hold me to it.

"Do not try this!"

2009-03-14T19:09:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, my dad sent me an email with a link from the Seattle Times.

The future is near...

Bionic eye, here I come.

ah crap

2009-03-06T11:48:00.000-08:00

Microsoft is trying to take away the jobs I don't want but will probably need to pay rent and buy groceries.

Damn you, Bill...

would it be weird if i made a jewish star?

2009-02-25T16:55:00.000-08:00

I walked through Annenberg this morning on my way to a meeting, and I glanced at the wall of televisions to catch a glimpse of some political meeting on CNN. Joe Biden was in attendance, and I couldn't help but notice he had a smudge of black shit on his forehead. During the meeting.

I did a double-take. Did nobody else see this? Who let the vice president out like that? He's conducting a meeting with shit all over his face. It looked like he just crawled back to the office after getting jumped in the alley. And nobody was mentioning it.

As I continued walking to my meeting, I passed a real live human being who also had black shit smeared on her forehead. Am I in the twilight zone? Is today National Mine-Your-Own-Coal Day?

After my meeting, I saw another person with black shit on his face -- except this time the black shit was in the shape of a cross. And then I finally got it. Ash Wednesday.

Which brings me to my point: this is the fucking dumbest custom I have ever seen. There are a lot of things about religion that I deem ridiculous, but the Ash Wednesday tradition of smearing shit on your face takes the sugar-free cake (because you gave up sweets for Lent). Do you have any idea how silly Joe Biden looked, dressed nicely in his suit, attending a meeting with government leaders and covered in black paint? He looked like a fucking chimney sweep. He might as well have been wearing clown make-up and squirting the Cabinet with his flower lapel.

There isn't really a point to this rant, except I haven't posted anything in a while and people were beginning to complain at me. So hopefully you weren't looking for something interesting to read, and instead were hoping to just kill some time. If so, mission accomplished. Good job, Max!

but i don't feel any different

2009-01-12T13:14:00.001-08:00

Off I go to my last first day of school.

... weird.

the only thing to fear is fear itself asteroids

2009-01-05T12:47:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the New America.

Or a Jerry Bruckheimer film, as this picture also seems to suggest.
[Via]

well that certainly went in a weird direction

2009-01-05T00:42:00.000-08:00

The new year is upon us, snow is falling in Seattle again, and I'm listening to the hereafter on repeat.

I've done virtually nothing since I've been up here -- I've sat around, I've read books (2! And neither of them were "Pat the Bunny"!), I've slept in, and I've recharged.

And now, at 12:45 am on January 5th, 2009, I'm thinking.

There are so many people in each of our lives. All of them contribute in some way, even if the contribution is frustrating and makes you want to scream or cry or both. I'd be willing to bet, though, that most people we choose to associate with make us happy. Very happy. So happy, in fact, that occasionally, at 12:45 in the morning, all we can do is sit around and think about how lucky we are that we have such wonderful friends and family and such a tremendous support system as we get ready to move on to a brand new scary phase of our lives, where everything sucks and is too expensive and the economy is in the toilet and we have no marketable skills outside of Los Angeles County and SAG is about to strike and we're all going to be homeless and desperate for work and have to resign ourselves to taking soul-sucking jobs we never thought we'd touch with a 10-foot pole.

Or not, whatever. Maybe it's just me.

In any case, what I really mean to say is that I love you all, and thank you for taking this journey with me.

oh come on

2009-01-03T02:01:00.000-08:00

First of all, I would like to apologize. No one really wants to hear any more about Sarah Palin now that the election's done, and everyone hopes that she'll go away, but the truth is that she's still the governor of Alaska, and there's not a snowball's chance in hell she won't be on the Republican ticket for at least the 2012 primaries, so I might as well keep building evidence against her and her stupid family.

I just read an article from my favorite journalistic source, People, and it's something I would like to share with you all. My favorite two passages:

"You need to know that both Levi and Bristol are working their butts off to parent and going to school and working at the same time," Palin told PEOPLE in a phone message Wednesday. "They are certainly not high school dropouts."

Let's examine. First off: "... Palin told PEOPLE in a phone message..." What? Does she spend her time calling news outlets to report family news? Was this call solicited? Who the fuck does that?

Two: "You need to know that..." You need to know? Who the fuck does this woman think she is? Her stupidly-named daughter gets herself knocked up by her high school dropout boyfriend and everyone needs to hear all about it?

Oh, wait, "They are certainly not high school dropouts." Well that's good. Except for this little gem, found a mere four paragraphs later:

"Levi, also 18, told the AP in October that he had left high school to enroll in an apprenticeship program training him as an electrician."

I'm going to need to check on this, but I'm pretty sure leaving high school before you finish qualifies you as a dropout. By definition.

Oh well, what do I know? I'm not the governor of Alaska.

UPDATE!
Shockingly enough, these people are still ludicrous.
Favorite quote: "He has to do everything by the book now"

what the hell is all this white shit?

2008-12-21T16:30:00.000-08:00

Seattle has a temperate climate. It's wet, sure, but everybody knows that the temperature holds fast at around 40 degrees all winter, effectively preventing all that snowy goodness that seems to exist in other parts of the country.

This year the system broke down. Seattle has had snow on the ground since last Saturday, and a flurry of recent -- I apologize in advance -- flurries has left about a foot and a half of powder.

This is a huge problem. On the east coast, or in Minnesota or some place like that, a foot and a half of snow is no big deal. They salt the roads, get out the snowplows, and all the streets are clean by 6 am. The City of Seattle has precisely 27 snowplows to service the entire city. They do not stock up on salt or sand, and Seattle is probably the second-most-hilly city in the U.S.

Basically, we're fucked. Half of all roads are completely closed, no one knows how to drive, and I'm stuck in the house.

The best part, though, is that it's supposed to warm up just in time to have our usual rainy Christmas.

Happy Holidays, everyone! And happy first night of Hanukkah, Jews!

omfg videos!

2008-12-17T00:48:00.000-08:00

A number of people (okay, one person and my mom) have pointed out that I don't update this blog nearly enough to keep everyone's interest. This is true. I apologize, and will do my best to update more often.

But for now, let me present the first ever videos on the hurwitz. Both made for my music video/commercial class. Enjoy.

yes, it is

2008-11-18T20:00:00.000-08:00

Last Wednesday, the USC College Republicans sent a letter to the Daily Trojan that made me so furious I couldn't focus on anything else until I had come up with an appropriate response. So after a few minutes of thinking, I wrote a reply and fired it back to the DT.

Today, they published it. Apparently. I say "apparently", because although I've received a few scattered "nice letter"s and "good job"s, the link on the DT's website goes to a letter to the editor espousing the virtues of classical opera. Or something. I didn't read the whole thing.

So I've decided to publish it on the internet myself. The letter went something like this:

"I am deeply disappointed in the attitude expressed by the USC College Republicans in Wednesday’s Daily Trojan, which frames Proposition 8 as purely a political issue. The USC College Republicans claim that many Proposition 8 supporters “actually support gay marriage.” If this is true, those people disgust me more than those who can at least be honest about their bigotry.

If you want to vote against judicial activism, start gathering signatures to create a proposition against judicial activism. Don’t deny a minority group rights because you want to stick it to those pesky liberal judges. A vote “yes” on Proposition 8 was a vote to eliminate the rights of a minority group, and I consider this bigoted no matter the rationalization.

Civil rights are not political. They are politicized, certainly, but I was brought up with the idea that all Americans, regardless of gender, race, background, socio-economic class, political affiliation, and even sexual orientation should be treated as equals under the law.

It doesn’t matter if 52.5%, 61%, or 100% of Californians voted to ban gay marriage – it’s still a civil rights violation. It doesn’t matter if its supporters are liberal or conservative – it’s still a civil rights violation. Supporting Proposition 8 isn’t supporting anything except a state-sanctioned right to discriminate against a minority.

And telling opponents of Proposition 8 that they should stop protesting a violation of their civil rights is – frankly – un-American."

r.i.p.

2008-11-15T08:00:00.000-08:00

There was a man in Seattle that everyone knew. He was a street performer who sat outside every single sports game and played the tuba for the crowds walking to and from the stadium. And he was pretty freaking good at it.

Today, I learned that this man, whose name was Edward Scott McMichael, was beaten to death by a group of teenagers last month.

May they forever rot in hell.

dream come true

2008-10-31T13:47:00.001-07:00

Those who know me too well know that I have a strange obsession with the concept of a bionic eye. While I'm still waiting for scientists to make their big announcement, my hometown U came up with a nice temporary solution.

I've never wanted something so badly that has such little use to me.

no on 8

2008-10-26T15:55:00.000-07:00

I think I see a parallel.

people in politics

2008-09-08T12:44:00.000-07:00

As we all know, People magazine is an American institution, making the lives of the middle class more interesting with stories of much-richer people and pictures of them walking their dogs.

However, in the wake of the collapsing economy and the ongoing war in the Middle East, People has started shifting it's focus away from the world of the frivolous and into the realm of thought-provoking political journalism. As an avid People reader, I've noticed this trend, and have decided to document it on my blog.

Welcome to my new segment: People in Politics.

First up: a hard-hitting examination of Sarah Palin's record. This mother of five and governor of Alaska has made her name for herself as a maverick in the Republican party, eliminating pork-barrel spending and wiping out corruption among her ranks. However, at 44, she is one of the youngest VP-candidates ever and has been governor of Alaska for a scant 2 years -- less time than Barack Obama has been running for president of the United States. Is she really qualified to be the second-in-command of the free world? People asks the tough questions.

cotton dreams

2008-09-01T23:54:00.000-07:00

I slept with a blankie until I was 18.

This isn't something I'm especially proud of. In fact, I spent most of middle school and high school ashamed of this fact, and spent a lot of time and energy figuring out how to best hide this from my friends. I was pretty sure I'd be a laughingstock when everyone found out their senior class president still slept with a security blanket -- the same one he'd had since birth.

Actually, it wasn't quite the same one. The first one, lovingly sewn for me by my grandma, was left at an airport after some trip when I was 3 or 4 or 5 or some age like that. I cried for days, until my grandma sent down another one, hurriedly sewn in the interim. That temp-blanket slept with me every single night of my life until I left for college. I took it to camp, I hid it in sleeping bags when I spent the night at friends -- I couldn't sleep without it.

I loved it, my blankie. I loved the way it smelled, I loved the way it felt, I loved playing with the frays and numerous holes that formed in the 15-or-so years I owned it. Every night I would carefully place it between my knees, and blankie would do his job, making sure those knees never touched when I curled up in the fetal position to sleep.

Then, when I left for college, I decided I didn't need blankie anymore. I decided the comfort I felt every night holding blankie in my arms wasn't worth the shame I'd feel every day, having to hide him from roommates, hook-ups, friends, and girlfriends. And I didn't regret that decision. In fact, I didn't give blankie a second thought.

Until tonight, that is. For whatever reason, when I pulled the covers up and closed my eyes, the first thought that ran through my head was: I wish I had my blankie back. I don't really know what that means, but I considered it significant enough to roll back out of bed and brush the digital dust off this sporadically-used blog.

I guess we all have to come to terms with becoming and adult at some point. With growing up, with change. With new stress and new circumstances. I know I don't need my blankie anymore, and now I have something else (someone else, really) I get to sleep with that provides security in a way blankie never could, but it's interesting how when life gets overwhelming, we revert back to the things that first gave us comfort.

And with that little diatribe, I'm going to sleep. Sans-blankie.

still alive

2008-07-02T22:43:00.000-07:00

I've been a bad blogger. I start to make good on my promise to write more and then completely shut down, letting the site go dark for over a month.

It's funny, though, because the reason I started this blog in the first place was to get me writing. Writing anything, really, although I did my best to be entertaining. However, since school's been out, I've been doing a pretty damn good job of writing things that are actually productive. And while I'd love to report that I've finished those projects and can move on, we all know that's not the case.

I am, however, about 3/4 of the way through the first draft one of one them, which is a big deal for a guy who's never really finished anything in his life. So fear not, one or two readers of this blog, for a lack of posting means I'm actually getting real work accomplished, and that's something I can feel pretty good about.

In other news, I dropped my phone in the toilet on Sunday and some woman totally hit me with her car today. All in all, not a good week for me, technology-wise.

Happy Day-We-Told-The-British-To-Fuck-Off Day, everyone.

thieves!

2008-05-19T10:07:00.000-07:00

Los Angeles-based band Lustra recently claimed that Miley Cyrus stole one of their songs. You've probably never heard of Lustra, but they wrote the wildly-successful and popular song "Scotty Doesn't Know", featured in the movie Eurotrip. The Cyrus song? "Rockstar".

You can judge for yourself, but if you ask me, I think that Lustra has a pretty good oh come on who gives a fuck no one is ever going to listen to either of these songs again anyway.

lowfermation

2008-05-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago I read an article in Time that reaffirmed something I have long believed: most people are morons.

One of the assertions in this article is that most people vote on the basis of "low-information signals", which are "stupid things like whether you know how to roll a bowling ball or wear an American-flag pin". The article goes on to claim that what initially set the Democrats apart was their reluctance to participate in this type of politics. It also asserts that this reluctance is what is probably causing them to lose so often.

Meaning: our country has been brought to the verge of collapse because John Kerry looked like a doofus trying to catch a football.

I assumed this type of low-information signaling as the basis of decision-making existed only in the political realm, but I just read something else that leads me to believe that people are morons basically all the time, as opposed to just when they're voting.

For those who care about celebrities, Uma Thurman's stalker was just declared guilty of fourth-degree stalking and second-degree aggravated harassment. (Sidebar: fourth-degree stalking? Can someone explain to me the differences in the degrees of stalking?) On People.com, there is an article interviewing a juror who talks about how the jury came to a decision.

"'At one point, leaving the stand, she seemed to hide her head in the crook of her arm,' Steel also says of Thurman - though, she goes on to report, the jurors questioned just how frightened Thurman might really have been."

Excuse me? She might have hid her head in the crook of her arm? Meaning that she was afraid? Are these people retarded? I have no idea whether or not this guy should have been convicted of stalking, but using a potentially accidental gesture committed by an actress as evidence is the type of thing that makes me terrified of our legal system. I wouldn't trust a group of twelve random people to watch my stuff while I take a piss, let alone decide how much time someone should spend in jail.

oh, and

2008-04-30T11:43:00.001-07:00

I would also like to thank everyone I know for all the wonderful birthday wishes and free drinks. I am truly grateful for you all, and you will never know how much you truly mean to me.

the best thing in the world

2008-04-30T11:39:00.000-07:00

I've posted this before in my cleverly-titled "things" section of this blog, but I would like to reiterate the awesome nature of "Stuff White People Like".

Never has a written publication been simultaneously so true to my heart and so embarrassing. It's like the writers have personally interviewed me and everyone I know, and come up with a fairly comprehensive list of all the stupid shit we find fascinating for no reason at all.

I check it every day.

breakin' the law

2008-04-23T23:35:00.000-07:00

The corner of 1st and Berendo is a right-turn only. There's a big sign right next to the stop sign, and a big arrow painted on the street.

Unfortunately, I need to turn left on 1st to go to school every day. So for the past year-and-a-bit, I've simply ignored the sign and gone on my merry way. I could never figure out why it was right-turn only to begin with.

Today, all that time I saved finally caught up with me. I got pulled over. The cop walks up: license, registration, and insurance.

"You a California resident or a student?"
"Student"
"What's your address here"
"[My address]"
"Ah, local. You should know about that turn then"
"Yeah, I know"

He writes my ticket, comes back to my window.

"You really should pay attention to that sign. Giving tickets for that is really easy"
"I imagine. Why is it a right-turn only, anyway?"
"I dunno. Doesn't make any sense to me"
He hands me my ticket, then says:
"So you have to appear in court on June 9th. You can get that date extended, though, if you want to. I go on vacation in July, so you might want to extend it until then"
"... What?"
"You didn't hear that from me. Have a great day"

And he's gone.

this is a disaster

2008-04-09T10:08:00.000-07:00

The pentagon just announced they're deploying hand-held lie detectors to soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, in an attempt to more accurately weed out terrorist activity. The detectors have three electrodes that attach to the suspect's hand, and the device displays "Red" if it believes the suspect is lying, "Green" for the truth, and "Yellow" if it can't tell.

We invaded Iraq six years ago in some misguided attempt at a "War on Terror", and now it's looking like that war has been reduced to 20 year-olds using color-coded palm pilots to protect us.

How far we've come.

socio-economics lesson

2008-04-03T10:40:00.000-07:00

I'm going to preface this with saying that I am not an expert on real estate, gentrification, community development, or the North University Park neighborhood. But something fascinating is happening around here, and I want to give my two cents because it's my blog and I can so deal with it.

This week, the good ol' Daily Trojan has been running a series of articles on USC's "Master Plan", which is a 30-year, $3 billion plan for USC's expansion. (The details from the DT can be found here, here, and here.)

Since you probably don't want to read all that, the basic principle of the master plan includes incorporating the land that is currently the University Village on to campus, razing it and replacing it with retail and higher-end shops catered to students, and narrowing Jefferson Blvd. from a 4-lane arterial to a 2-lane campus street.

While obviously the university is wildly enthusiastic about the plan, the non-university-affiliated residents of the community are not, and I find this fascinating.

Let's start from way back. In the 1960s, USC used a policy called "eminent domain" to seize areas surrounding the current campus to give us enough space for the campus we have today. I had to look up "eminent domain" on Wikipedia, but apparently it's a policy the U.S. has that allows private property to be seized for specific purposes, generally government or development related. Apparently "university purposes" qualifies as sufficient enough reason to seize land. So after USC's land-grabbing 50 years ago, the community is naturally distrustful of basically anything it does.

This time, however, there's a bit of a difference. Downtown is becoming livable once again. There are lofts, condos, restaurants open past 5 pm, supermarkets (well, okay, one), a mall... Droves of people are moving in, land prices are skyrocketing, and gentrification is in full bloom. One mile south, USC is also growing. Enrollment is at an all-time high, construction is going on like mad (between the new commons and the new cinema building, everywhere I go borders a construction site), and USC is facing tremendous pressure to start housing students with an out-of-state enrollment of around 50%. The Jefferson-Fig-Exposition-Vermont border is bulging at the seams.

Meanwhile, evil corporations like Conquest Housing are taking advantage. The housing shortage around USC is jacking up prices like mad, forcing students to grab their ankles and driving long-term residents out of the area. There is a definite problem.

USC claims their master plan will ease this issue. By focusing on residences, they believe more students will move back to campus, easing local demand and decreasing traffic in and out of the area. And frankly, I agree, but only because USC's change fits in to the broader way Los Angeles is changing.

I hope it's rapidly becoming obvious that Los Angeles, in it's current form, is an unsustainable city. The population is not decreasing. Traffic is disastrously bad, and all this Caltrans improvement shit isn't having any effect that anyone can see. The freeway-based city dreamed up in the '50s does not work with the current several-million population.

Los Angeles is changing. Not quickly, but they're working on. For the past year, the MTA has been working on expanding the already-existing but barely-useful subway line to include several stops around USC's border before making it (eventually) to Santa Monica. The East-West public transportation option is the missing link, and I applaud USC for being one of the first institutions I've heard of in Los Angeles to say, "You know what? This is broken. And the only way to fix it is to actively make it more difficult for people to drive. Fuck you all, we're forcing you to take the train, or to walk, or to ride a bike".

As for the additional neighborhood impact, I'm afraid it may be a losing battle. Of course no one wants to drive anyone out. I doubt it's USC's goal to be a fungus on the community. But these wheels have been in motion for a long time. Capitalist demons like Conquest have been driving out residents for years, both directly through their price jacks or indirectly through their offensive and demeaning 15-foot billboard ads. At least USC is trying to help. It may not be the silver bullet, but it's a strategy that makes sense. Thirty years is a long time. The neighborhood will change, whether anyone likes it or not. Let's not let people like Conquest do it for us.

can't fight the flood

2008-03-09T12:54:00.000-07:00

It's been a while. Probably long enough that everyone who was once so excited about the intimate details of my life has long since stopped waiting for updates.

Well, I'm still here. But I don't have much to say. The past month has been a sleep-deprived blur, and unfortunately, I'm still knee-deep in the shit until next week. All my neglected activities during production have caught up full force, and for the next five days I'm going to be struggling my way back to shore.

But then I'm done. DONE. Nothing but piña coladas and little drink umbrellas for the rest of the semester. Maybe I'll even drop a fancy picture update. How fucking sweet is that?

best part? already lost the coupon

2008-02-13T20:47:00.000-08:00

Last semester, I bought a bag of cookies from a vending machine, and there were only three cookies in it. Dennis told me I could write them a letter, send them the bag, and they would send me a free box of cookies. It took a few months, but I finally mailed the damn thing.

A couple days ago, I got this in the mail:

"Dear Mr. Max Hurwitz,

We appreciate the time you took to report the experience you had with Famous Amos Chocolate Chip Cookies, and apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.

Our goal is to provide customers with wholesome, high-quality products. Stringent quality control measures are set for each of of our manufacturing process from the delivery of raw materials through the distribution of packaged foods.

You have the right to expect top-quality products from our company, and we make a concerted effort to maintain the highest standards with every package we produce. Many inspections take place during the packaging operation to prevent a situation like the one you reported. Occasionally, a partially-filled or unfilled package may get through the system undetected.

We value the comments you have shared with us and will report them to our Quality Assurance team for follow-up. The information that you provided will help ensure that our products and services continue to meet the highest quality standards.

We hope you will be pleased with your next purchase, and are sending a coupon for you to use the next time you shop.

Sincerely,
Natalie Felix
Consumer Affairs Department"

That response sounded like it came directly from the "politically correct things to say to an upset customer" manual. "We value the comments you have shared with us"? Come on, Kellogg's. You don't value shit.

I want my box of fucking cookies.

they're so open minded

2008-02-02T08:20:00.001-08:00

This morning, France made history. It became the first country whose First Lady can be seen naked at any time.

Congratulation, France!

a big victory for lawyers everywhere

2008-01-29T19:26:00.001-08:00

To say that the United States is a haven for moronic litigation is so cliché that I'm embarrassed I started my blog post like this. But I just read in the Daily Trojan (USC's primo attempt at journalism) about one lawsuit that is particularly close to my heart.

For those who aren't familiar with the fascinating politics of the West Adams neighborhood, USC has, for the past 100 years, been slowly eating away at the original neighborhood like a fungus. Any traces of non-University-related businesses or residences are rapidly disappearing, leaving an amorphous mass of Victorian structures right next new apartments built out of cheap plaster and hope.

One company (appropriately named "Conquest") has established itself as the official slumlord of USC, owning and "operating" over a dozen buildings in the area. Conquest is the devil. Their prices are ridiculous, their maintenance is laughable, and they admittedly take advantage of students who are just learning the process of leasing an apartment.

In the past few years, though, they have been winding down a particularly evil path. See, USC admits it has a housing problem. As they make the transition from a commuter school to an international college destination, they've been struggling finding the space to house their students. They can't build dorms fast enough. Recently, the school developed a plan to build a structure called the "University Gateway", which would be a mixed-use building on the corner of Jefferson and Fig that would contain retail space and housing for 1,600 students.

Conquest smelled a threat to it's diabolical monopoly, and did the only thing it could: sue. They sued the school for wanting to house students in buildings that weren't owned by Conquest. Seems ridiculous, but Conquest managed to throw enough bureaucratic hurdles in the permitting process to delay the project for two years. But USC had a plan: they sued Conquest for suing them. Hilarity ensued.

Today the DT announced that a settlement had been reached: both lawsuits were dropped on the condition that Conquest and USC aren't allowed to sue each other any more. Matthew Burton, a leader of the project, called the verdict "a big victory."

Excuse me? A big victory? If spending hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees and ending up right back where you started is a big victory, then I clearly have been setting my sights too high. They went to court to fight for the right to not go to court anymore.

I love America!

lowbrow

2008-01-28T17:47:00.000-08:00

I want to know when collages made from cut-outs of porn magazines found on the street became considered high art.

Can someone explain to me why that deserves more respect than Armageddon?

actually, i feel fine

2008-01-21T09:20:00.000-08:00

Happy Depressmas, everybody!

Go ahead, have yourself a nice long cry.

medic!

2008-01-17T12:34:00.000-08:00

Monday morning was the first day of a brand new semester. I woke up with a stomach ache.

Tuesday was the second day of a brand new semester. I woke up with a stomach ache again.

Wednesday was the third day. No stomach ache. It instead showed up at about 2 pm, worse than ever.

Thursday I decided to go to the doctor. I had no symptoms aside from constant pain, and it was to the point where I was pretty sure I'd ruptured something important, and it was slowly leaking in to my abdomen, which would soon cause my midsection to inflate like a water balloon until my skin couldn't contain the mess.

Turns out I was wrong. Blood work came back completely clean, which lead to the diagnosis of, "Well, it looks like you're body's just having a lot of trouble digesting something. Make sure you drink a lot of water and try to eat a lot of oatmeal."

Isn't it embarrassing when you go to the doctor and it turns out you're just a pussy?

outed

2008-01-11T01:42:00.000-08:00

Apparently, one or two people read this thing after all.

ocean of light

2008-01-10T10:31:00.000-08:00

For all its artifice, the sodium-vapor glow of the Los Angeles basin that can be seen from a plane is really quite breathtaking.

My apartment welcomed me home last night by promptly dropping a glass light fixture from the ceiling as I attempted to turn on a light. It shattered on the ground. I'm also out of toilet paper.

Hollywood, I'm back!

but seriously

2008-01-09T00:11:00.000-08:00

It's now a little more than a week in to the new year, and it turns out my list of resolutions may have been a wee bit optimistic. To save face, I've scaled it back a bit:

1. Floss. Every day, starting Thursday.
2. Some form of anaerobic exercise every day, starting Thursday.
3. Write at least one page a day, starting Thursday.
4. Netflix at least one new movie a week (and actually watch them). Starting Thursday.

As you may have noticed, none of these resolutions actually start until January 10th. Why? Well, I'm still in Seattle. But by Wednesday night, I'm going to be back in Los Angeles, and my life will be returning to its regularly scheduled program of working lots and sleeping little.

And honestly, it's about damn time. This cushy living up here in Seattle is getting tiresome. No work, no obligations. Just a lot of sleeping until noon and vegging in front of the TV. I'm turning into a slack-jawed, brainless lump.

Let's get some shit done, aiight?

resolved

2008-01-04T00:32:00.000-08:00

1. I will maintain a healthier lifestyle
a. Exercising regularly
b. Eating more, and more healthily
c. Getting a reasonable amount of sleep at least 4 nights a week

2. I will be more responsible with my time
a. Not getting sucked in to the internet and/or television
b. Scheduling my life, fastidiously, because I obviously cannot rely on my memory

3. I will participate in activities that help foster creativity and imagination
a. Write (something) every day
b. Take pictures. Lots of pictures.

4. I will finish the things I start
a. Minimize distractions when starting a task
b. Make cur

book envy

2007-12-23T00:05:00.000-08:00

I just did something I haven't done in at least two years: I finished a book.

Yeah, I know, that's probably something I should be embarrassed about, but I've always found reading a book to be an incredible commitment. It's not like a movie, where you sit in the dark for a couple hours and have it roll by. Reading is always active. I have to make the choice to pick up that book, time and time again, because I rarely have a 14-hour stretch where I can just read straight through and finish it.

Clearly, I don't often have the resolve to pick a book back up again, so I have about three dozen half-read books laying around my apartment.

But today I broke the pattern. I've been reading The Time Traveler's Wife, a book I keep hearing about from random people, and I thought it was absolutely beautiful. It was completely captivating, so honest, and so emotional, despite it's inherently absurd conceit.

It's the kind of story that makes me jealous, that makes me want to start writing and creating and imagining immediately. So that's what I think I'll do. Right after I call someone to tell her how much she truly means to me.

thehurwitz 2.0

2007-12-20T17:02:00.000-08:00

I know I left you all (read: the one or two people who read this blog) with a big cliffhanger a week or so ago, and I'm sure you've been anxiously waiting on the edge of your seat. Well, wait no longer, here comes the incredibly unsatisfying resolution: I bought a camera!

Yeah, I know everybody has a camera. I even have a half-broken, POS digital point-and-shoot sitting around somewhere. But I'm now the proud owner of a digital SLR, and it makes me immeasurably happy to be able to take nice pictures of things.

I tested it out on my trip with Amy to San Diego this past week, which was unbelievably relaxing, and provided great picture opportunities. So expect posts to be periodically accompanied with pictures, although they will likely be more pictures of things, rather than people, because I'm going to constantly forget to ask my subjects if they are comfortable with having their picture posted on some obscure blog that no one reads.

Enjoy!

seriously?

2007-12-19T12:45:00.000-08:00

It's remarkably depressing when you get off a plane and no one's waiting to pick you up.

It's comically depressing when no one's waiting because it's 3:00 in the morning and the reason your plane is landing 3 hours later than scheduled is because the pilot got stuck in traffic or something.

I spent most of last night sitting on a tarmac, when my usual 9-to-midnight flight from LAX to SEA became a 9-to-3 hell-ride. The irony of it all was that I was absolutely convinced I was going to miss my plane. I made it to the gate about 5 minutes before scheduled takeoff, out of breath and thinking I wouldn't be able to pick up my bag until the next morning.

So in any case, I'm in Seattle now. And I'm cold.

bring the heat (please)

2007-12-13T16:47:00.000-08:00

Mike and I don't have a considerable amount of visitors at our apartment. There are a number of reasons for this: we're very busy, we're rarely home ourselves, our apartment is messy and unorganized, etc. etc.

But as the seasons have turned and the sun has dropped ever lower on the horizon, a new reason has emerged: our apartment is cold as balls.

See, we don't have any heat. At all. We live in a pretty old building, and so the only heating solution comes by way of natural gas heaters installed in to the walls of a few rooms.

When we moved in last summer, we noticed that one of them leaked. The gas company came once to fix it, said they fixed it, and then the next day it was still leaking. The gas company came back the next day and said they fixed it again. I trusted the second guy more than the first (at least he spoke comprehensible English), but Mike and I were still uneasy about it. The gas company guy recommended that he just shut off all the heaters, since it was summer anyway, and we could call in the winter and have them turned back on.

Great, we said. Love it. Saving the energy and money. What the gas company guy neglected to mention, however, was that when we call to have the heaters turned back on, the phone dispatcher says, "Great! A technician will be at your house some time tomorrow between 8 am and 7 pm. Make sure you're there to let him in!"

Mike and I don't even have time to do laundry, so sitting around the house for 11 hours is not a viable option. As a result, we haven't been able to get the heaters back on. And now we're both going to our respective home towns for a month, so there's no real point in doing it before the new year.

No heat, combined with no direct sunlight (we have a north-facing apartment on the bottom floor), combined with cooler-than-usual temperatures, has left our living quarters uncomfortably cold. All the time. And there's nothing we can do about it but bundle up. I now sleep in a sweatshirt, two pairs of sweatpants, and socks -- combined with 4 blankets on top of my usual comforter. I think Mike has actually started sleeping in a sleeping bag. It's kind of like camping, but without the ability to actually make a fire. And we're out of smores.

So I beg of you, anybody, please bring something that generates heat. I'm about three days from just icing over.

the future is here!

2007-12-12T16:20:00.000-08:00

Wow. Seriously. Wow. Just wow. Or w0w, maybe. And if you can't see the difference, you're obviously not cool.

In other news, I've spent about 72% of the past 72 hours in the Lucas Post Building editing sound on Plight, so I don't actually have any other news.

Actually, I do have a small bit of news, but it'll have to wait until I can present it properly. Bet you didn't know my blog had cliffhangers.

and the winner is...

2007-12-06T11:54:00.000-08:00

Bill Richardson!

I just found a quiz online, created by the Washington Post (you should take it too) that summarizes the candidates' answers to various questions and asks how much you agree or disagree, then weights the results and tabulates them to tell you who you should vote for. The whole test is blind (they mix up the answers and don't show you which candidates they belong to), so as far as I can tell, this seems to me like the best way to pick a presidential candidate yet. Obviously there are problems with this method, but shit, seems about as scientific as picking a favorite person can be.

The test told me some interesting things, both about myself and the candidates. First of all, I hate it when dodgy or pander-y answers are given to these kinds of questions. Therefore, I only chose ones that gave a strong stance. As a result, I ended up picking ZERO of Obama's answers. That's right, zero. The candidate I thought I liked the most ended up scoring the lowest out of all five. Richardson was first, followed by Hillary, followed by Chris Dodd (??), then Edwards, then Obama.

I also discovered I really don't know jack shit about Richardson or Dodd, but based on this quiz, you better believe I'm going to do some research. Not that I really think either of them have a chance at winning, but what the hell. The Washington Post just earned Richardson one more vote than he would have otherwise.

I think this quiz should constitute voting, in and of itself. It's too easy to get caught up in stuff like the celebrity and "personality" of the candidates. Obviously these things bear no relation to the quality of a president (Bush sure is a charming fella, ain't he?). Instead of picking names, voters should be given a quiz like this. It seems like the best way for the real voice of people to emerge from all the political bullshit.

Now we just need to assign the quiz some sort of paper trail.

i'm afraid i can't do that, dave

2007-12-05T10:58:00.000-08:00

This morning, for the second day in a row, I woke up to a very early* phone call. It wasn't my parents, calling with some sort of family emergency. It wasn't Amy, calling with something cute to share or some problem she wanted help with. It wasn't Mike or any other film school people, calling for some emergency help on a shoot.

It was a computer. A computer called me on the phone and woke me up. Two days in a row.

It wasn't the same computer, mind you. Yesterday the Wells Fargo-bot called to ask if I really had made a rather large purchase online (I did), and today the UPS-o-tron called to let me know my package was being delivered today and I would need to sign for it.

Now, I'm all about technology. I'm the guy who will be first in line to get a bionic eye as soon as they become available (I could see in infrared!!!). I have no problem calling Wells Fargo and dealing with their computerized system to pay bills and check my balances and whatnot.

But it's a whole new ball game when their computerized system calls me. I don't like when anybody wakes me up, but when computers can call and reach me at any time, day or night, with no guilt or remorse, I start to get annoyed. Especially when the computer is calling about something like identity theft. Isn't that a something a real person should be handling? Like, a "crime", or whatever? Is this where we're headed, as a society? Do we really want to go down a path where the only "people" checking on our well-being are mechanized?

Fuck it. At least HAL's looking out for me. He'll always have my back.

* To a college student, "very early" means any time before 9 o'clock

quote of the past three days

2007-12-02T23:09:00.001-08:00

"University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small."
-Henry Kissinger

northwest bound

2007-11-25T12:30:00.000-08:00

There's only one word that could possibly describe my Thanksgiving weekend in the Pacific Northwest: indigestion.

Yes, there was a considerable amount of delicious food, but there was also a completely inexplicable bout of food poisoning, contracted from dinner Friday night.

Other than that, the trip was about as relaxing a trip home can be. Amy and I went to Port Townsend with my dad, Joan, and Brian, where they have a very nice house with a very nice view. It absolutely freezing, but the air was crisp and clear and I learned how to play Bocce ball, so all and all I'd consider that a good trip.

The next night Amy and I made it to Snohomish, where we had dinner with my mom and Patrick and lazed about the next day until it was time to fly home. All flights were on time, there were no crying babies, and I even made it to work on time this morning.

I hope everyone else's Thanksgiving went just as well, only warmer. And with less vomiting.

because everybody likes more access to ads

2007-11-20T08:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Mike told me they were making a Terminator TV series. "Weird," I said, "how'd you find that out?" "I saw a billboard yesterday, it was crazy." "Where's the billboard?" "Somewhere by the Apple Pan."

This got me to thinking. I would like to see this billboard. But the Apple Pan is all the way across town, and I know I'm not going to have time to make it out there any time soon. Plus, the idea of driving to the westside to gaze upon a billboard is laughably stupid.

But I still want to see it. And this hasn't been the only time I've heard of a cool billboard I'd like to see. Does anybody remember when they pulled the one for Captivity? I wanted to see that one too, but I didn't know where it was or how to find it.

This brings us to my brilliant idea of the day. There are thousands (millions, probably) of websites out there that serve very specific and obscure purposes. I think someone should start some sort of Los Angeles Billboard Wiki, where people post pictures and locations of billboards from all over town. It could even be linked to Google Maps, so people could map their way to hot billboard destinations. I have neither the time, energy, nor ability to undertake such a task, so I'm throwing this idea out on the open internet in hopes that someone will pick it up and run with it.

In other news, today will be my last post for a few days because I'm flying home for Thanksgiving with Amy (our first plane flight together). So I might as well wish you all a happy Thanksgiving now. Travel well, be well, and eat well.

one two three four

2007-11-19T10:49:00.000-08:00

I have become completely obsessed (nay, addicted) to the Feist song, 1234. See, there's a part of the song I find exceedingly beautiful and moving, and if I listen to it loudly, I get tingles. Literal goosebumps down my neck and back. And it feels so good. It's like an aural orgasm. An aur-gasm, if you will. And I can't stop listening to the song.

I don't think I've ever this kind of reaction to a song before, but I like it. A lot. Is this some sort of medical problem? If so, I don't ever want it to stop.

"... you know who you a-aarrrrree...."

I need a cigarette.

two wheels are better than four

2007-11-18T11:11:00.000-08:00

On Friday I participated in my least favorite Los Angeles activity: driving cross-town, west-to-east, at 4:30 pm.

For those who don't know, Los Angeles rush hour is a fascinating phenomenon, especially on Friday. Said rush hour lasts from about 3:30 until 8:30, completely clogging a number of freeways, but especially the 10 East, from Santa Monica all the way to east of downtown. I'm talking a bumper-to-bumper, don't-break-10 mph-the-whole-drive shitshow.

So I'm sitting somewhere between National and La Cienega, about 40 minutes after I left Pacific Palisades, and I hear it: a high pitched whine. I know what's coming. I scoot my car a little to the left and a motorcycle whizzes by, whitelining between the lanes. Then another. Five minutes later, another passes. And again. All flying by the thousands of immobile vehicles on the freeway.

By the twentieth motorcycle, I got to thinking: cars are the devil. If I were appointed King of Transportation in the United States, my first order of business would to be ban cars and force all the manufacturing plants to start cranking out motorcycles.

"Max," you say, "that's crazy! That would never work!" This is where you're wrong. Motorcycles are objectively much better than cars. That's right, I said it: objectively. They can park almost anywhere, they all get 50-60 miles per gallon, and they have better acceleration and handling than any car on the market.

"But they're dangerous!" No. The motorcycle itself is not dangerous. What makes motorcycles dangerous is the prospect of getting nailed by a car, which would obviously put the motorcycle driver at a mass disadvantage. If no cars were on the road (due to my ban), all things would be equal and it wouldn't be any more dangerous than driving a Mini Cooper.

"But you can't carry passengers!" Almost every motorcycle can carry at least two people. Need to carry more? Get a sidecar. Nobody really carpools anyway, so don't try to pass this off as an excuse.

"But you can't carry groceries and stuff!" Most motorcycles have pouches or bins or something to carry junk. If that's not enough, get a sidecar. If that's not enough, I'm sure some company would start manufacturing detachable trailers or something for motorcycles to carry all that "stuff" you need.

"But they're so loud!" Wrong again. Most motorcycle owners have their bikes modified so that they are louder than they have to be, mostly so that oblivious car owners can hear them coming and won't nail them with their SUVs. A motorcycle isn't inherently louder than any other car.

"But... but... you're crazy!" Possibly, but this is a good idea. Motorcycles use a fraction of the resources of cars, in terms of construction, pollution, and even space. This is a good idea. Write your congressman or something.

shameless plug

2007-11-13T22:05:00.001-08:00

Amy's on the radio!

Listen to her every Tuesday, from 8:00-10:00, on UCLA's radio station, which seems to only be available for listening online, at www.uclaradio.com.

Amy's the resident sexpert on the show "Caulk Talk," so you should all listen, every week. She knows her shit. Trust me.

i've been shooting zombies

2007-11-12T20:07:00.000-08:00

After two weeks of having a blog, I now remember why I've never had one before: I feel my life is too mundane to post on the internet.

It probably isn't. I spent the entire weekend shooting a movie that features a zombie as its main character, getting in to zany situations like being refused service at a grocery store and having a tea party with a little girl. I realize most people don't do things like this for school. They have things like tests, quizzes, papers, and... uh... research papers? I don't know, I haven't done "real school" work in about a year.

Most people assume that because I don't do "real work", I don't do "work". But see, the thing is that making movies is hard. Every wonder why so many shitty movies come out every year? They're hard to do well. Not many people are talented enough to pull them off. So in the quest for achieving this talent level, we film students work our asses off for months at a time to produce 6 minute projects that no one else will ever really care about. Mike and I already have one under our belt, and we're 2/3 of the way through another. I spent 8 hours this weekend completely trashing an apartment to make it look like the inside of a zombie's house. Beats papers.

In other news, I am currently in possession of a DVD master of Mike's and my first film. If anyone would like a copy, please let me know, and I'll get you one.

I'm also going to work on posting more often. When weeks go by between posts, the pressure for each new post starts to build. My belief is that when posts become infrequent, they must increase in quality to make up for lack in quantity. (This also assumes people read this blog, which is likely untrue). If I post more often, then each can just be my normal, garden-variety level of shitty writing, and the pressure's off. See? It works.

strike! strike! strike!

2007-11-05T14:00:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone sold your potentially-Oscar-award-winning scripts yesterday, because as of today, the WGA is officially on strike.

Goodbye, quality scripted entertainment.

Hello, Supernanny.

(Jon Stewart, I'll miss you *tear*)

wasting away

2007-11-04T13:48:00.000-08:00

So, it's 2 in the afternoon and we're sitting on the couch watching TV and I lean over to Amy and go, "Hey, are you hungry?"

She replies, "Yeah. My boyfriend doesn't feed me." I go and look in the fridge: condiments, juice, and probably-not-edible leftovers.

Now, those of you who know me may have noticed I'm not exactly "muscular", or "in shape", or even "relatively healthy". I'm rail thin. And pale. And a little skeletal.

Things weren't always this way. In middle school, I was actually quite chubby. A video-game-based lifestyle combined with a steady diet of fast food (caused by a 6-month remodel of our family's kitchen) left me a little porky.

Then, miraculously, I grew. Six inches. Gained zero pounds. But then I had a new problem. It didn't take long to realize I now couldn't gain weight. Hours of exercise, pounds of food -- I ended up looking exactly the same. So I gave up. I look like what I look like. No big deal.

But yesterday, at Mike's shoot, one of the actresses said I looked thinner than the last time I saw her. Later that day, Amy said pretty much the same thing.

Now this is a problem. I'm 20 years old. I should be past the pubescent "coming in to my own" phase. I shouldn't look like an escaped mutant from an Ed Wood film.

So I'm asking everyone for a favor. If you see me walking around, tell me to eat something. If I say I'm too busy, tell me to eat something. If I say I've already eaten, tell me to eat something. In fact, no matter what the next words out of my mouth happen to be, tell me to eat something.

Thank you all for your cooperation.

(Also -- tell me to start exercising. Healthy's good, but being fat really wasn't fun)

here we go

2007-11-01T12:42:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. I decided to make a blog. I probably don't need one, and they're not really as cool as they used to be, but what the hell. I like seeing myself on the internet. If you know what I mean.

Hope you enjoy!