best part? already lost the coupon

Last semester, I bought a bag of cookies from a vending machine, and there were only three cookies in it. Dennis told me I could write them a letter, send them the bag, and they would send me a free box of cookies. It took a few months, but I finally mailed the damn thing.

A couple days ago, I got this in the mail:

"Dear Mr. Max Hurwitz,

We appreciate the time you took to report the experience you had with Famous Amos Chocolate Chip Cookies, and apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.

Our goal is to provide customers with wholesome, high-quality products. Stringent quality control measures are set for each of of our manufacturing process from the delivery of raw materials through the distribution of packaged foods.

You have the right to expect top-quality products from our company, and we make a concerted effort to maintain the highest standards with every package we produce. Many inspections take place during the packaging operation to prevent a situation like the one you reported. Occasionally, a partially-filled or unfilled package may get through the system undetected.

We value the comments you have shared with us and will report them to our Quality Assurance team for follow-up. The information that you provided will help ensure that our products and services continue to meet the highest quality standards.

We hope you will be pleased with your next purchase, and are sending a coupon for you to use the next time you shop.

Sincerely,
Natalie Felix
Consumer Affairs Department"

That response sounded like it came directly from the "politically correct things to say to an upset customer" manual. "We value the comments you have shared with us"? Come on, Kellogg's. You don't value shit.

I want my box of fucking cookies.

they're so open minded

This morning, France made history. It became the first country whose First Lady can be seen naked at any time.

Congratulation, France!